Jayna's Gifts

I am creating. She would want me to keep creating. If I want to stay out of the shadows of fear and loss,  I need to accept and believe that I am inherently good enough to deserve the light and blessing I deserve if I but seek it.  The light feels better, laughing feels better, believing feels better than waiting in the shadows. I am here today. Alive. I am sensing all that is around me. I am enjoying the day even though its cloudy and grey. The world is good and I am okay. The white and grey shades of the cloud formations that enclose the mountains are just hiding the green explosion that will soon erupt  from beneath. The sun will always come out! It's time for the world to create beauty and new life.  It's my job to capture it, to see it, and to appreciate it how ever I can. That is what she would want.

This week was very hard at the passing of my dearest friend, I didn't know, or had forgotten how much the pain hurts. In remembering her, I have taken a few photos of the many gifts she has given me over the years. They are sweet to me because she gave them with such care and thought.  When I walk outside, I think of her with me as we see the beauty everywhere. I know she is seeing it in much better color than I am and I am grateful to the Lord for his tender mercy in comforting me and helping me to see his love. The gifts that she gave that were of no material worth will be the most valued.  Her listening ear, her infections laugh, her gentle wisdom and unconditional love will radiate in my mind forever.  Her faith was unwavering and her patience enlarged as she bore many trials with a smile. He artistic eye and adventurous spirit will hopefully will go with me still.  She is my angel of creation and love.  She is my biggest fan and I am hers.  Her spirit and influence are eternal.

A scripture that I came across this week that really helped me is.....

Always a pooh fan

 Jacob 3: 1-2 But behold, I Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart. Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause..... Oh all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love, for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever."

Because I love Geraniums

View from Villa Amore

I realized while sitting in the temple that it is there that we can find true peace. It is with him and only him that the comforter speaks to our minds. I need to keep my mind firm and immovable in faith that he is there, that he exists and that he knows what is best for me. I need to believe that she can know my thoughts and how I feel about her. I need to believe that she is still here and with us. I need to know that she can understand how amazing she was and what a huge part of my life she filled. I know in that perfect day ahead we will have a glorious reunions and that for now, I still have work to do.