Hygge: The Danish Art of Living Well or How to make it though the Winter

Have you heard the word.... Hygge?  Last year a friend of mine gave me a book about the Danish art of  Living Well, or as I say,  "How to make it through the winter"!!  I have had seasonal depression since I can remember and every year I would go into a foggy funk.  It's like being trapped in the bottom of a sleeping bag and my brothers are holding the zipper shut and I can't get out!!  Anyway, I'm sure there are many of you who can relate.

Once I learned the concept of Hygge and tried it out last winter I was amazed and how it shifted my focus to what I had instead of what I had lost. i.e. summer, sun, outdoors, warmth , connections etc.   By definition the word means:  a quality of presence and an experience of togetherness. It is a feeling of being warm, safe, comforted and sheltered.  Hygge is an experience of self hood and communion with people and places that anchors and affirms us, gives us courage and consolation.  To Hygge is to invite intimacy and connection. It's a feeling of engagement and relatedness, of belonging to the moment and to each other. Hygge is a sense of abundance and contentment. Hygge is about beingnot having.

Henry David Thoreau wrote:  Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."  I realize now that only in wanting summer to come back did the winter seem more oppressive and dark.  Only in thinking about what I didn't have it was  causing me to have pain associated with winter.

 In the book The Book of Hygge, the author, Louise Thompsen Brits,  says,  " We all Hygge:  gather around a table for a shared meal or beside a fire on a dark night, when we sit in the corner of our local cafe or wrap ourselves in a blanket at the end of a day on the beach.  Lying spoons, baking in a warm kitchen, bathing by candle light, being alone in bed with a hot water bottle and a good book these are all way so Hygge.    Hygge draws meaning from the fabric of ordinary living. It's a way of acknowledging the sacred in the secular, or giving something ordinary a special context, spirit and warmth and taking time to making it extraordinary."




Some of the topics that I've been reading about in the book are...

 1: Belonging  At the heart of hygge is an experience of belonging and a sense of being together.  We can be in the company of others or we can experience hygge by ourselves.   A circle of warmth is in visioned by an open fire encircled by family and friends on a dark night or people gathered under a lamp table  to share a meal- the light effortlessly holding the group all together.  Hygge is feeling anchored and unified in one place.

 2: Shelter 
The Danes enjoy the shelter of kinship and make time for the comfort and retreat of hygge.  The landscape of everyday life is dotted with temporary shelter from the pressures of work and responsibility, moment of relatedness built into each day- as simple as a quite bath, a midweek dinner with friends or a weekend morning in bed with the whole family.

 We can also shelter each other emotionally.  Emily Dickinson said,  " I felt it shelter to speak to you"    " A Chinese proverb says,  "It is in the shelter of each other that the people live"   Family togetherness and family activities can ground us to each other and helps to build lasting memories.

" Towns and cities in Denmark often have a low rise building the embrace of town squares, court yards and streets just wide enough to cross with ease.  Many Danish homes are built to respond to the ebb and flow of domestic life and to the changing season.  They invite the light but celebrate the dark, with fireplaces and areas built to enfold an comfort." Louise Thomas Brits 

  I have found that putting salt lamps and candles in the dark areas of our home help to lift and lighten my soul.  Home should be a place of refuse and coming home.  Thomas Moore said, " Home is an emotional state, a place in the imagination where feelings of security, belonging, placement, family, protection, memory and personal history abide."   Home is ideally a place of solace that sustains us.

3: Comfort and Wellbeing

What do you think of when you hear the word Comfort?  For me it takes me back to my childhood. I am  in our basement in my bed trying to fall asleep.  I see the crack of light through my door.  I knew this meant that my Dad and Mom were upstairs either sewing, watching tv, reading or some other activity.  All was safely gathered in for the night and we were all snug in our beds.  Now that I am an adult I think of reading a good book in my bed with a warming bag or taking a hot bath with some candle light near by. I think also of a clear mind and conscience that when I think of how I am with the world and with others I can be at peace.  There's comfort in that you know. 
Hygge involves comfort, cosiness, a sense of wellbeing, and a relaxed frame of mind.

Think of the senses that we seek comfort from. The scents, the textures, tastes, sights and sounds that speak to your heart and your body.  Just looking at the flower pot above and seeing the natural light cross its petals  fills me with joy.  Smelling a freshly cut lemon and sqeezing it into hot honey water calms and delights me all at the same time.  If you slow down to notice it, it will find you.  Wrapping a loved one or self in a fabulously organic soft blanket with texture warmth is Hygge. 
   "He who finds contentment is Rich"   




4: Simplicity

Hygge is as simple as lighting a candle to welcome someone home.  It's as simple as smelling your favorite smell, walking in a wonderland of magical frost, feeling a warm fire on your toes or having a conversation with an old friend.  There is a simple fidelity to the moments we experience that are Hygge.  My 14 yr old son walks into our front door.  He can't see me in the other room.  He calls out "Mom"  I respond with, " IN HERE,  what do you need?"  He says,  " Nothing, I just wanted to know where you were."  When I experienced this connection to him I thought Hygge.  Noticing it made it all the more special to me.  

 After I put my Christmas decoration away, I left the areas free and clear and simple.  The walls speak peace to me and the dusted furniture feels clean and new.  The simple ways I cook,clean and place  item my home are more purposeful and  comforting yet simple.  They give me freedom to think and grow.  

 5: Observance

The practice of Hygge keeps us alive to everyday enchantment.  It wasn't until I started looking for the magic that my mind shifted to enjoyment of winter rather than dread.  I could put on warm boots and walk in a snowstorm or when fog came into town I could grab my camera and make magical shots that I couldn't ever find in the summer months.  I  noticed the light when it came into my rooms via windows and the the shapes and shadows it created in my space.  I would rejoice when the light came as I knew it would not last long.

 In her book, Louise says " The Danish expression to hold twilight or watch it darken, describes the pleasure we take in pausing to observe as day slips into night. To stand at our window, wrapped in the half-dark and watch the day disappear behind the building opposite our own and the lights appear in the window around us is a moment t of hygge. " 

This past month I have purposefully had my camera charged and ready so I could watch the blue birds that magically appeared in winter.  Had I ever noticed that they are not there in other seasons?  No!   Watching the birds fly around as the sun comes up makes me excited to get up in the morning.  This usually is a hard thing in the winter but changing my focus to observance of something new is like traveling without leaving home.

6. Celebration

Hygge is the thread that runs through life in Denmark. Knotted into it are moments of celebration ritual and quiet epiphany. The spirit of celebration is a small moment within each of us that manifests itself throughout the year on an occasion when we choose to observe.  When people meet together in a moment of celebrated  specialness then  Hygge is present  and the larger the festivities the smaller the Hygge is noticed.  This may be why I love small gathering.  Intimate and cozy yet not large enough that the special noticing and connecting is lost.  Being together with just my family, all my children and their spouses was a rare treat.  It was intimate and cozy and I noticed so much because they were all people I dearly love.   They have gone and the year passes but I can keep those memories in my heart.   " We were together and that is all I remember"  unknown author

There is so much to learn about this Art.  You will just have to go read the book.  There are so many things to learn that I just can't share it all.  But, the end of the book says, " We pass on the spirit of hygge through the quality of our presence.   Ideas and values travel. Through Hygge, each one of us can know a sense of deeper contentment that will radiate out from us into a global web of  belonging  togetherness."  It has helped me to be grateful, connective and to savor those beautiful moments in time that most are too busy to examine.  Winter allows this time for me to slow down and to just be.